


Grounded

by NotAsSweetasASweetPotato



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anger Management, Angst, But no, Flight Attendant! Sasuke, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, I couldn't write plotless smut to save my life, I promise, Jealousy, Lots of Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Naruto doesn't make it all better, One Shot, PWP, Pilot! Naruto, Porn with Feelings, my bad - Freeform, with feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 15:57:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18577735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotAsSweetasASweetPotato/pseuds/NotAsSweetasASweetPotato
Summary: Sasuke's a flight attendant in his early twenties, and he just can't stop thinking about Naruto, the pilot he often flies with who also just so happens to be Sasuke's designated friend with benefits. Sasuke and Naruto have been a "thing" for almost a year now, but what really is a "thing?" Just two people who sleep and joke around with each other for a few nights a month? Or is it two people who do those same things with the potential to be something more? Sasuke doesn't have time to ponder this. Not when he's one of the few hostesses responsible for three hundred plus passengers on a hulking--wait, did Lee just get called back into the cockpit?Aka: The pilot/flight attendant AU no one asked for.





	Grounded

**Author's Note:**

> *8/6/19--Story being revamped*  
> *8/8/19--Revamping mostly finished. All that's left is cleaning/editing spelling errors & grammatical stuff* ^^
> 
> Playlist Recommendations for this:
> 
> \- Flaming Hot Cheetos - Clairo  
> \- Hello? - Clairo  
> \- How - Clairo  
> \- Honestly her whole fucking EP. Every song fits.  
> \- Pressure - Milk & Bone  
> \- Stay Still - Exes & Jome  
> \- One Day - Exes & Jome  
> \- Parachute - Exes & Jome

 

The commercial craft’s cabin was alive with the hum of oncoming passengers. Three hundred people--and five dogs--would be flying from Narita International Airport to Toronto Pearson International Airport this evening, and out of the eight flight attendants working the hefty Boeing 777, only Sasuke and the new stewardess, Hinata, spoke fluent Japanese. The mere thought made Sasuke want to curl like a spider and die.

As the passengers boarded the plane, each one different from the next, Sasuke cringed behind the wall that separated the galley, the kitchen area, from the economy cabin. His coworker, Gaara, a sullen man in his late twenties, scowled as Sasuke bumped into him.

“Hide someplace else,” Gaara grumbled, folding his arms across his chest while he gave Sasuke the mean sort of look that used to make Sasuke want to deck him. Sasuke had gotten used to Gaara’s resting bitch face, though, and so he just frowned and wiggled against Gaara’s side until the stubborn man made room for him.

“You’ve been a steward for an entire year,” Sasuke complained, annoyed that he could feel sweat from Gaara’s bare arm seeping through his new, navy blouse. “When are you going to stop hiding from the people?”

Gaara sniffed, scrunched his perfect nose, and said in his low, monotonous voice, “Whenever you decide to.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes and huffed. The area beside the galley was peaceful because most passengers couldn’t see the spot from their seats, but the area was hot, and even though Sasuke was a Tokyo native, he couldn’t stand the heat for long periods of time. Seconds, to him, counted as long periods of time.

“I’m going to pop out and see if anyone needs anything.”

Gaara gave him a skeptical look as his arms fell listlessly to his sides. Was that disappointment Sasuke saw in his eyes? “You mean you’re gonna see if _Naruto_ needs anything,” Gaara said.

A defensive scowl flashed across Sasuke’s features, and the small wrinkle that formed between his thick brows broke whatever mask Sasuke was trying to throw on. “Why do you think I like him?” he demanded, stepping away from Gaara so that he was at the end of the cabin’s aisle, in full view of the passengers. Sasuke’s stomach churned as he watched their passengers meander on the dark violet floors. Some people were already sitting in the red and black seats all facing forward, but many were not.

“Uh, maybe because you do? Naruto-this, Naruto-that. He’s the only pilot you talk about, and you never stay out of the cockpit when he’s flying.” Gaara leaned against the ovens, a ghost of a smile playing at the edge of his pale pink lips.

Sasuke’s scowl deepened. “Whatever.” He spun on his heels and began the fight from the galley to the cockpit where he knew Naruto and his co-pilot, Shikamaru, should be. On an empty plane, the walk would have taken him ten seconds, maybe twelve. Tonight’s flight, however, was packed. Many people were still loading their carry-on luggages into the overhead compartments, searching for family members who had gotten left behind during the walk through the sky bridge, or some were just standing around gawking and talking while Sasuke squeezed by.

On more than one occasion, Sasuke was grabbed by a passenger who had a question that was easy to answer. To his pleasure, most of the questions were in English meaning he might not have to deal with being one of the token translators once the plane took off. When he reached the Suite section, first class, a small girl no older than four grabbed the edge of his sleeve, pulled, and asked him with wide, brown eyes for an orange juice in broken Japanese. Her very American parents must have been proud. Sasuke promised the girl he would grab an orange juice for her once everyone was seated and then went about his way. The interaction was so smooth a stranger wouldn’t have guessed how much Sasuke hated kids.

By the time he reached the cockpit, Naruto was fiddling with some buttons on his dashboard, and Shikamaru was bent over, about to start taking off his shoes. Shikamaru paused when he heard the door open. “Sasuke in the pit?” he asked. “So soon?”

Sasuke had no response because when Shikamaru took notice of Sasuke, so did Naruto, and the smile that spread across the idiot’s face was too pure for Sasuke’s mind to focus on anything else. His brain was short-circuiting as he tried to remember what he wanted to say.

Naruto spun his chair in Sasuke's direction, and then he regarded Sasuke with wide, expectant eyes, clearly eager to interact with the attendant, however he could.

Sasuke winced internally. Naruto was too open...How did he wear his heart on his sleeve like that, vulnerable for just about anyone to fuck with?

The two stared at each other, Naruto patient and waiting, Sasuke blank-faced and also waiting...for Shikamaru to make himself useful outside the pit. “You left your coffee in my room?” Sasuke croaked.

Naruto raised a brow so blonde that if the man wasn’t as tan as he was, the brow would have seemed non-existent, and he laughed. “I know." He leaned forward, elbows to his knees, and lowered his voice a few octaves. "I thought you’d bring it to me later.”

Sasuke could have smacked him for that. Instead he came closer and peered down at Naruto’s dash. “How’s the weather looking?” he asked. Sasuke was genuinely curious. And genuinely stalling. He tried sneaking a glance at Shikamaru and choked when he saw Shikamaru already watching him.

Naruto shrugged and reached up to point at the screen. Sasuke almost melted when the side of Naruto’s hand brushed against the top of his thigh. “Not too shabby. We might hit some turbulence right about here.” _Here_ was the middle of the North Pacific ocean, hundreds of miles away from Chiba prefecture, where they were now. “Other than that, this should be as smooth a flight as any.”

A small smile flashed across Sasuke’s face without his permission. He hoped Shikamaru didn’t see. “Oh, okay. Cool.” He lingered because he didn’t know what else to do. No, scratch that. Sasuke knew he should be back in the cabin, helping his colleagues answer pre-flight questions and assisting passengers in storing their carry-ons. He wanted to stay with Naruto for just a little longer, though. They had some unfinished business that needed tending to.

As if on cue, Shikamaru stood, stretched, and hooked his thumb towards the door. “I’m gonna go introduce myself to some of our passengers, make a good impression,” he said in his usual sleepy voice. “I’ll be back in five.” He gave Naruto a curt nod that spoke volumes before he vanished from their sight and closed the door to the pit behind him.

Sasuke’s gaze was still on the door when Naruto stood, clawed his hands into the front of Sasuke’s blouse, and snatched him forward. Their lips met in a surprising wet smack, and Sasuke moaned in pain.

Naruto jerked his head back, but his hands stayed clenched in Sasuke’s clothes. “Oops,” Naruto breathed, cinnamon-scented breath warm on Sasuke’s cheeks.

Sasuke laughed, a short, light sound, and then Naruto was on him again. Sasuke’s hands smoothed up Naruto’s back, over the delicate material of his navy suit jacket, and one of his hands tangled itself in blonde fluff while his other closed on the nape of Naruto’s neck, holding his head down so that he could deepen and better control their kiss.

Sasuke loved the smell and taste of cinnamon gum lingering on Naruto's tongue. He wondered how long they'd have to make-out for the scent to transfer.

When they pulled apart for breath, Sasuke noticed Naruto was patting his sides. He'd grab Sasuke's waist with both hands, squeeze, release, and then do it again, a gesture Sasuke couldn't remember him doing before. While the touch was nice --any touch from Naruto was nice--Sasuke wasn’t sure if this particular touch was meant to be soothing or sexual, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know either. What did he need to be soothed for?

Right foot back, and then left, Sasuke made himself take a few steps backwards until Naruto let him go, and then he scanned the front of his shirt to make sure Naruto hadn’t left any wrinkles.

“You really missed me, huh?” Sasuke whispered, mostly to himself. However, because most of the sounds from the cabin didn’t transfer into the cockpit, Naruto heard him. He grabbed Sasuke’s hand with his left, and with his right hand, he reached out and cupped Sasuke’s cheek. The gesture was so overwhelmingly gentle that Sasuke shook his head until Naruto released him.

"Stop touching me."

“Sas,” Naruto began, but he stopped himself. He rocked back and forth on his heels for a second--nice heels, the heels of gorgeous leather *Gucci oxfords Sasuke used three-fourths of his savings to buy for Naruto’s last birthday. The deep blue of Naruto’s eyes were fixated on the floor, carpet that was flat and dirty no matter how many times Sasuke or the next flight attendants vacuumed.

“If you ask me what we’re doing or what we are, I’ll never let you fuck me again.” Sasuke’s voice sliced through their silence like Valyrian steel.

Naruto’s gaze shot up at that. He looked apprehensive and a little bewildered, like he had something he wanted to say, but wasn't sure if he could say it. Sasuke interpreted the look as Naruto being afraid of Sasuke not sleeping with him again, and he snorted. In that moment, Naruto looked more afraid than the time he did when a random passenger approached him and Sasuke as they were leaving the airport and threatened to shoot Naruto last summer. The man was upset that they went through a storm, and while Naruto did his best to get the plane landed safely, for the crazy asshole that ran up on them, Naruto's best wasn't enough. Fortunately, security already had eyes on the guy, and so when he advanced on the pair and began screaming, he was tackled and "escorted" out of the airport.

Sasuke snorted again, this time to ease his own edging agitation from the memory.

Naruto relaxed at the sound and flopped back down in his seat. Then, he slid two fingers into Sasuke’s pant’s pocket and pulled until Sasuke sat down, too, halfway on Naruto’s lap. “Why’s that funny? You’re, like, the only thing I have to look forward to when we land," Naruto said, voice and expression equally soft.

Sasuke let his head fall back to rest on the top of the chair, remembered that Naruto thought Sasuke wouldn't fuck him anymore, and that Naruto probably thought Sasuke was snorting at him. “Yeah," he said to the ceiling. "You do have me to look forward to." He frowned. "Well, me and all your other flight attendants."

Lean arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him so that his back was flush against Naruto’s chest. “There’s only you, Sas. Me and you. You know that.”

Sasuke didn't move, didn't make a sound. Did he know that? An unwelcome memory crossed his mind. The memory was of Naruto last December, sitting at the bar of a Hilton in New York with a short, thick guy Sasuke had never seen before. Sasuke hadn’t seen Naruto in weeks, and Naruto hadn’t responded to the one text Sasuke sent him in November, so Sasuke didn’t bother to send him another text after that. He hated himself for being too prideful to double text, but Naruto was always so eager to respond to him, would triple text Sasuke even if all he sent was "hi." Naruto's silence was jarring to say the least, and whenever Sasuke didn't know what to do, he ran away or did nothing.

Late last fall, Sasuke had been sticking to national flights only. Constantly flying transoceanic had taken a toll on him. They fucked up his sleep schedule, gave him persistent nausea, and almost sent him to the hospital after he fainted on a flight and didn't wake up until after they'd had an emergency landing, roughly several hours after he'd fainted. The trip that did him in, a flight from Atlanta to Tokyo, had been his sixth international flight of the week. Albeit, he had five consecutive days off already scheduled for him (as he and his coworkers typically had when they worked more than five flights exceeding ten hours in a row). But the fainting session had scared Sasuke, deeply, truly scared him. And so, he decided to take a break from those jobs. He asked to work solely in the United States. To his surprise, his boss agreed.

So there he was in New York city, tired as shit from his previous flight, heading to the bar in the Hilton for a cocktail that he planned on taking up to his room in a clear plastic cup, when he encountered Naruto and his pretty boy. Sasuke and Naruto were never exclusive; not once did they ever discuss being in a real relationship with one another, going on dates, or experiencing a life together outside of work. And yet, seeing Naruto touch the strange man on his arm, smile at him with what Sasuke made out to be adoration in his eyes, seeing Naruto flirt...it hurt. It hurt so much that even after Sasuke began working transoceanic flights again the following month, he didn’t let himself get as close to Naruto as they had been before. Naruto, of course, hadn’t noticed a change in Sasuke's behavior, but Shikamaru did, and so did their other colleagues.

Where their colleagues used to tease and wouldn’t mind hanging out around both Sasuke and Naruto at the same time, they were serious and absent. Before the shift in their relationship, their colleagues would ask both Naruto and Sasuke if they wanted to get drinks as a group. Now, most offers were made to one man or the other. This went on for most of January and all of February before the offers, at least to Sasuke, stopped coming.

Now, the month was March. Rainy, sometimes snowy, March. A good sixty percent of the planes Sasuke attended were piloted by Naruto, and of those aligned shifts, ninety-five percent of them were spent fucking hard and fast after they had landed. Sasuke had been fucked by Naruto more times than he had masturbated, and he, to his dismay, masturbated regularly. However, nothing changed between them. At the end of the day, they were friends with benefits who weren’t really friends.

Naruto decided to place a heavy palm over Sasuke’s knee all of a sudden. He squeezed the joint and Sasuke startled, sitting up and pulling away from Naruto’s warmth.

“I should really get back,” he said. He expected Naruto to agree and loosen his hold, but he didn’t. Sasuke turned his head to the side so that he could see Naruto’s face, and he was surprised to find Naruto watching him with sad, somber eyes. Deep blue observed Sasuke, surrounded by wisps of blonde lashes, trying to share something with him, some clue, some piece of information, but Sasuke couldn’t make out the message.

His chest ached like he'd just been punched.

Slowly, Sasuke leaned his head down to press his forehead against Naruto’s. Insatiable black into devastating blue. Indecipherable messages being sent. Naruto lifted one hand, hooked an index finger under the sharp curve of Sasuke’s jaw to tilt his chin downward, to encourage him to lean closer. His nose brushed past Sasuke’s. They were closing the distance between their lips, both of their eyes still open, when the door to the cockpit gave a loud creak.

“I gave you five minutes,” Shikamaru said in disbelief.

Sasuke hopped up so fast his vision blurred and the world spun. He righted himself on the back of Naruto’s seat before he fell. Naruto made to grab for him again, but Sasuke was possessed by the sudden, unholy urge to get the hell out of there. Without looking back, he shoved past Shikamaru and out into the cabin so that he could finally _breathe._ The first class passengers were all seated now, playing with their phones, laptops, televisions, and other devices they used to distract themselves from the world. Sasuke envied every last one of them.

He tried to look busy and unbothered, tried to keep his face expressionless as he adjusted the blanket and pillow for an empty seat. However, his shoulders kept creeping up to his ears and his heart wouldn’t stop lurching into this throat. His eyes felt wet, and he quickly wiped at them.

When he peered around again and saw that no one cared what he was doing, Sasuke took a deep breath. The air smelled of dirt, clean laundry, and disinfectant. He took another breath, and then he quickly made his way to the back of the plane where Gaara, Temari, and three other flight attendants were gathered. A passenger from the Suite class tried to get his attention as he left their section, but Sasuke refused to acknowledge him. He didn’t trust himself to look attentive and professional for at least another minute or two.

He couldn’t stop thinking about stupid Naruto and not knowing what the other man wanted, or even what Sasuke himself wanted. He didn’t know what was happening with their “relationship,” didn’t know if it was falling apart or coming together, but he had approximately nine and a half excruciating hours to figure it out. It was going to be a long flight.

 

  

*** 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

“You’re more quiet than the others,” Hinata, one of the new flight attendants, intoned while she and Sasuke made their way up the aisle right of the middle seats with the drink and snack tray. Sasuke, Hinata, Kiba (an attendant Sasuke knew of, but had never seen in person until today), along with five other attendants were serving the Sky Wider, aka the economy class, and the Sky Premium, the premium economy class. Meanwhile, Gaara, his siblings Temari and Kankuro, and some Canadian kid named Jack were serving the the Suite, and Sky Suite, better known as the business classes. On most occasions, Sasuke would be Gaara’s serving partner for the Sky Suite. However, after Tsunade, a flight attendant of senior ranking, had been caught drinking on the job for the tenth time (maybe because she’d worked for the airline for four years and still had to serve economy), she was fired, and the company wanted Sasuke to “very briefly” take her place. Sasuke’s stomach hurt at that phrase. “Very briefly.” For Japan Airlines, “very briefly” could very well mean several months.

Well...Sasuke fought hard to find a positive in this. The best he could come up with was at least he had been able to give that little girl her orange juice before the flight took off.

“Yeah, I keep to myself,” Sasuke answered while he filled up a plastic cup with cranberry juice for a Chinese guy in his late teens.

Hinata nodded at that. She lay a package of rice crackers on a passenger’s tray and asked them, in muted Vietnamese, if they would like anything else. Sasuke was impressed that she was not only a polyglot, but that she cared enough for her passenger’s sleep quality that she would whisper so low.

What he was not impressed with was how much physical pain he was in. Sasuke’s feet were singing and his shoulders ached while he turned his gaze straight ahead. They were currently serving seats 51 of rows K-F. They had roughly five more rows to serve, which meant about 20 more people. All Sasuke wanted to do was sit down and maybe read. However, he tried to keep in mind that some of the passengers were just as impatient and tired as he was. Some of them were likely dealing with more stress in their lives than he was, and maybe they would have to face their stress as soon as they exited this long ass flight, too. With that in mind, he forced his best smile and gave a quick bow and greeting to seats 51 in the rows to his right, K and H.

_Don’t think about how you’ll be serving them dinner in less than two hours. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it._

“Hi, yes, I’d like three diet cokes, please,” the old man in row H announced.

_Dammit, I’m thinking about._

Diet sodas were the absolute worst to pour on a plane. They fizzed constantly, and so each one took an additional thirty seconds out of Sasuke’s life. He thought of the now fired attendant he used to work with who was so spiteful he used to make it his business to remember which guests asked for a diet drink just so he could spit in their food.

By the time Hinata and Sasuke finished serving their designated rows, most of the guests they’d served at the beginning were asleep. The soft rustle of bodies shifting beneath blankets and jackets could be heard while the people adjusted themselves. Somewhere on the plane, someone was listening to their music at an incredible volume, and Sasuke heard Kiba ask them to please turn their music down. For the most part, the plane was quiet.

Sasuke pushed the serving cart back to its rightful place, tucked away in the galley. And then he sat down and felt at ease, physically, for the first time that night. Tension melted from his shoulders, flowed down his upper back, to his lower back, and then into the cushion of his seat and away. In a few more hours, they would land, and an hour or so after that, he would be in his designated hotel room at the Sheraton Gateway Hotel. Naruto would probably have arrangements for a better room in a better hotel, but he would spend the night in Sasuke’s all the same. That is, if Sasuke let him. Sasuke’s eyes opened, face blank. Why was he thinking about Naruto again?

“You know, you’ve got a nice ass,” came Kiba’s voice from beside him.

Sasuke whirled around, and sure enough, in the galley, stood Kiba. He was leaning against the side of the entryway, eyes down and face glowing from the light of his phone. He was texting someone furiously, not paying Sasuke a care in the world. For a second, Sasuke was afraid he was experiencing his first auditory hallucination. But then Kiba’s eyes met his and a wicked grin spread across the man’s broad face.

Sasuke blushed and frowned, flustered. He didn’t do well with compliments. One time Naruto called him _fucking beautiful_ while blowing Sasuke’s back out, and Sasuke lost his erection for a solid twenty seconds. He’d never been more embarrassed, and Naruto hadn’t complimented him in the heat of the moment sense.

“What. You can’t tell me no one’s ever called you hot before.”

Kiba’s face was back down in his phone. From what Sasuke could see at his distance, the other man had opened Twitter, or maybe that was Facebook.

“I’ve been called attractive before. Many times,” Sasuke responded, tapping his thigh. He didn’t mean to sound defensive, but he was afraid that he did.

Just then, a call came through on their work phone attached to the wall. Kiba cringed away from the buzzing and the beeps, and just as fast, he answered it. “Yeah?” he asked, annoyance clear as day as his features. His unkempt brows were furrowed and his thin lips twitched downwards as he listened. “Yeah, sure, I’ll tell ‘im.” When he ended the call, Sasuke perked up, expecting Kiba to let him know that Naruto wanted him back in the cockpit for one thing or another. He was astonished when Kiba walked right past him, found Lee, an attendant who was just way too damn excitable for Sasuke to talk to, and interrupted Lee in the middle of assisting a passenger to send him back to the cockpit.

Stunned, Sasuke sucked in a sharp breath.

_What kind of fuckery…_

Sasuke hands curled into fists in his lap, fists that were so tight his short, unpolished nails dug into the smooth skin of his palms.

_Breathe, breathe._

He bit his lip and held the sensitive flesh between his teeth, and no matter how many times he told himself to exhale, to breathe, he couldn’t. His lungs were screaming, his lip was tearing, and his eyes were watering from not fucking breathing.

“Sasuke-kun,” Hinata whispered from behind him. Had she been lingering in the galley this entire time? “We need to start--”

Sasuke shot up from his seat and stormed to the nearest lavatory which was, conveniently, right in front of him. No one was inside,thank God. He squeezed inside the small room and braced himself against the sink.

_Stop caring so much. Why do you care? Why are you making a big deal of things?_

It might not have even been Naruto who requested Lee. Shikamaru might have needed a cup of water or a snack. It was just...whenever either of them needed anything, Sasuke was their go-to when he worked in the Suites, and even now that he was stuck in Economy. Of course, he didn’t get so lucky with other pilots, but he also didn’t care about the others pilots. He cared about his pilots. In particular, he cared about his Naruto.

“God, why am I so pathetic over him,” Sasuke moaned quietly.

A light rap came from the door, probably from Hinata.

“Just a minute,” Sasuke called. He allowed himself to make eye contact with his reflection against his better judgement. His eyes were a little pink, and his face was flushed. His hair, on the other hand, was perfect: black, chin-length, and as straight as he'd tried to be in high school.

Sasuke would have splashed some water on his face, but he didn’t want to screw up the concealer he wore to cover the redness under his eyes and around his nose.

Another rap come, louder this time. “The hell you doing in there?” Kiba.

“Minding my business,” Sasuke yelled. He couldn't have five seconds to himself.

A frustrated growl left his lips, and then he straightened his shoulders, nodded to his reflection, and exited the lavatory. Nothing good ever came from losing his composure.

Kiba and Hinata were waiting for him outside, Kiba with his arms crossed and Hinata with a worried look on her face. Her pale blue eyes were wide and wary. “Sasuke-kun?”

“We’ve got to start preparing dinners,” Sasuke told them both as he stepped around them. By “preparing,” he meant warming up. Few things were actually cooked on board. Yet still, they had a plethora of passengers to warm up meals for. Sasuke began mentally preparing himself for the pungent scent of beef that would waft from the ovens as the meals cooked and that would linger in the plane, especially in the galley, long after dinner was served and thrown away.

“You’ve been worked up, like, all day,” Kiba noted as he stepped in the kitchen area. Sasuke chose to ignore him.

Instead of talking, Sasuke opened the freezer and pulled out a package of microwavable meals. For dinner, the Economy class could choose between an entree centered around braised beef with penne or chicken over rice. The airline preferred to cater more towards their Western passengers for trips back to Canada and the United States, and so those were the two options the guests could choose from. With the main entree, vegetables of choice, bread, Häagen-Dazs ice cream, and a warm-beverage (also of choice) was served.

Even though each of the meals were individually wrapped, easy to warm up, and even easier to serve, dinner was still Sasuke’s least favorite part of serving international flights. From the smell of the food and its preservatives to the inevitability of mixing up a passenger’s requested meal to a passenger being suddenly unsatisfied with their food and requesting something else entirely, dinner was a pain.

“I feel sorry for the vegans,” Hinata chimed while taking a handful of meals from Sasuke and placing them in the oven.

Kiba uttered an agreement. Sasuke ignored them both.

They worked seamlessly, moving through the meals, warming them up, and aligning them on the cart based off the location of the customer. By the time they were finished heating and placing the meals, it was time to serve, and the rest of the attendants working the Economy and Premium Economy classes were taking their rows’ designated serving carts, including Lee.

Lee was a Chinese man by ethnicity, but he was born and raised in Japan. He had a bowl cut, the thickest eyebrows Sasuke had ever seen, round, but small dark brown eyes, tight-bound muscles, and an abundant supply of energy. If Sasuke had to guess, he would say Lee was in his late teens or maybe even in his early twenties, like Sasuke. Unlike Sasuke, he was the kindest flight attendant Sasuke had met, and if Lee had ever known a bad day, he never showed it.

“Hey guys,” Lee said as he came for the cart he would be sharing with a Canadian girl whose name escaped Sasuke.

Sasuke had half a mind to outright ignore Lee like he did most everyone else. But he was burning with curiosity. His soul was quite literally on fire, ablaze with flames that burned him from the inside out as he realized Lee had been missing in action, very likely back in the cockpit, for two hours. What had they been _doing_ back there?

Sasuke stared at Lee with hard, unblinking eyes, as if the answer was tangled up somewhere in that bowl cut of his.

“You haven’t looked well all night, my dude,” Kiba said from his right. Sasuke didn’t acknowledge him with a glance, but he did look away from Lee to the steaming meals on Lee’s cart.

Sasuke shrugged. “Might be coming down with a cold. Or something.”

A heavy hand clasped Sasuke’s shoulder and he tensed as his teeth clacked together. He did not like being touched.

“Are you going to faint on us again?”

Sasuke shrugged off the man, checked the shoulder of his blouse to make sure it wasn’t stained from the grease on Kiba’s hand, and then he made a face. “Us?” he asked, voice thick with suspicion. His dark eyes were narrowed and now Kiba was the subject of their glare. “Also,” Sasuke continued before Kiba could get a word in, “How do you know that I fainted?”

Kiba’s eyes widened and he grimaced. “Oh, shit.”

“What?” Sasuke demanded in a sharp whisper, stepping over to him. He couldn’t handle any additional stress right now. Were people starting rumors about him being incompetent? Did corporate think he was no longer capable of doing his job? He swallowed hard and took another step towards Kiba so that their faces were less than a foot away. “Did JAL send you to spy on me?” Saying the words out loud made Sasuke feel like an absolute psychopath. Maybe that’s why Naruto called Lee back into the cockpit instead of him. Maybe that’s why Naruto was looking at Sasuke with such nervous intent earlier on. Maybe Naruto could feel the psycho energy just radiating out of Sasuke’s oily pores.

Kiba cleared his throat as a light blush spread across his cheeks. For a brief, delirious moment, Sasuke was upset with himself for being so paranoid that he couldn’t appreciate Kiba’s beauty.

The taller man clasped his hands together and let out an awkward chuckle. “Well, not JAL exactly.” He cleared his throat. “They wouldn’t send someone like me.”

That made Sasuke feel even worse. His heart clenched painfully. “Then _who? _”__ he hissed _ _.__ “Uchiha Madara? Please tell me it wasn’t my uncle.”

Kiba took a step back. Even though the two of them were whispering, they were drawing the attention of the other attendants who were procrastinating, taking their sweet time with grabbing their carts and heading to their rows.

“No, no, it wasn’t your uncle either,” he said, auburn eyes darting from the dusty wheel of one cart to Hinata’s pink, kitten heels to Sasuke’s dress shoes and back. “You, uh, really weren’t supposed to find out. He made me promise not to tell you.”

“Fuck your promise. Are you fucking with me? Why are you spying on me? And for who?”

“Sasuke, we need to start serving,” Hinata urged, giving him a gentle shove on his back.

For the first time in years, Sasuke felt helpless. He’s felt depressed, self-hatred (loads of self-hatred), dizzy, weak, _in-love_ \--one of the most discombobulating feelings he’s ever felt--but never helpless.

This day went from bad to terrible in seconds. Sasuke hoped Kiba was joking around, that no one had sent him to observe Sasuke. He hoped his uncle wasn’t still looking for him.

  

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

Sasuke was called into the cockpit around twelve in the morning. He had been dozing, had his timer set for forty minutes, when Hinata gave him a small shake and told him Naruto wanted a large coffee with three creams and five sugars. Of course Naruto wanted something from Sasuke while the man had the rare opportunity to take a nap. Of fucking course.

  
Sasuke huffed a curse but got up to do what he was asked to do. He thought about being petty and sending Lee to give Naruto his coffee instead. However, he was surprised at how much he yearned to see Naruto. Naruto was a happy person, someone who was easy to please and didn’t expect a lot from Sasuke. Even when the blonde man was clumsy or awkward, he managed to have a confident, easy-going air about him, an air Sasuke often found vital for the lungs that oxygenated his peace of mind.

Chin up, back straight, coffee in hand, Sasuke strode down one of the quieter aisles to the cockpit. His blouse had a small stain on it from where a guest had knocked his own cup of wine over during dinner. No matter how hard Sasuke scrubbed at the spot in the bathroom, the cheap wine wouldn’t come out. How did that passenger even get wine?

  
The black slacks he wore were about as uncomfortable as his shoes, and, without a doubt, they smelled of beef and vegetables. Sasuke wasn’t one to feel self-conscious, but he was aware of how... _unappealing_ he was in his current get-up. He hoped Naruto wasn’t in the mood to put another tally on their mile high card.

When he reached the pit, he didn’t trouble himself with knocking.

The cockpit was irradiated by dozens of neon green lights and the four navigation screens Naruto and Shikamaru split between the two of them.

Both men turned at the creaking sound the door made as it opened. Sasuke walked right in, and he was pleased to see Naruto wore a relaxed grin and appeared genuinely happy to see him. Sasuke didn’t know how he expected Naruto to regard him when he came in, but he felt silly for worrying that Naruto would ever look at him any other way, and he was glad that they would be landing in three hours, or less if Naruto hurried the hell up.

“Sasuke,” Shikamaru greeted around a yawn. His light brown eyes were shaded and his eyelids were droopy.

Naruto regarded Sasuke with a look so loving, so sure of himself, that Sasuke stopped breathing. He remembered Lee. He remembered the man from the Hilton.

As Sasuke extended his arm to hand Naruto his coffee, Naruto said, “Thanks for coming all the way up here, baby," and Sasuke froze.

Naruto had never called him that before. He may have let a “babe” or a “sweetheart” slip between the sheets, but never ever before then had Naruto called Sasuke any sort of pet name in public. Sasuke used to believe Naruto would spontaneously combust if he had to call Sasuke anything other than his name or an insult. And so Sasuke could only stare at him with wide eyes, like a deer in headlights, while his heart hammered in his chest and his brain malfunctioned. 

“Aw, c’mon,” Naruto cried, brows raising to his hairline. “I was just joking...C'mon, relax!"

And suddenly Sasuke was ashamed. He shouldn’t have come. He should have let Lee take Naruto his drink after all.

“Um, yeah,” Sasuke said, awkward as ever, still holding the drink out, arm not extended enough for Naruto to reach it without standing. The plane was on autopilot at this point. Naruto could have stood if he wanted to. What the hell was he waiting for? Being angry with Naruto for not getting up was better than being angry with himself for standing so still.

Sasuke felt dumb. When the two first met, if Naruto called him something like "baby," Sasuke would have had a quick quip to say back. The quip would have been sexy and flirtatious. Or detached and annoyed. But there was no use trying to play the cool guy with Naruto anymore. The facade wore off months ago, after Sasuke had first laid on his back for the other man.

Just thinking about how easily he had accepted Naruto’s advances, about how Sasuke could have stopped this whole thing before it even started if he hadn’t been so weak made his face grow hot.

Weak, pathetic, needy, dumb. His brother had described Sasuke to himself first when they were kids, and his uncle reminded him many more times of what Sasuke truly was as he grew older. And even though he tried, desperately at times, to work hard, to be anything but these things, anything but weak, Sasuke seemed to be incapable of change.

Without a word, Sasuke unfroze and handed Naruto his coffee. Their fingers brushed as the cup was passed. Sasuke pretended he didn’t notice, pretended the shock didn’t give him goosebumps and make him want a hug. He also pretended not to hear Naruto stiffly try to start up some small talk. He turned and left the cockpit with a resolution in mind. When the plane landed, he would request to return to Delta so that he could work national flights again. Indefinitely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

The rest of the flight flew by like an ominous dream, one where Sasuke watched himself move and act and speak, but he himself felt nothing. He was an empty shell, receiving and being used, but he had nothing left to give. Breakfast was served as a complimentary service around two a.m. and shortly afterwards the plane began to land.

The sight of the city lights coming closer and closer, being able to pick out specific bodies of water, and then highways, and then hotels and other buildings used to fill Sasuke with intense elation and pride. Tonight, these sights meant nothing to him. He had nothing to look forward to when the flight landed aside from a fitful rest and a hard conversation with Kakashi, his recruiter.

When he thought he couldn’t feel less like shit, as the plane was unboarding, the passenger all the way in seat A23 asked for Sasuke’s assistance in pulling his luggage from the overhead compartment. The man was tall, maybe the same height as Sasuke, and he had a nice head of curly bronze hair and shining green eyes.

"Thanks, man," the guy said, his grin too wide for someone doing him a simple favor, a professional courtesy.

"My pleasure," Sasuke said automatically. That was what he was trained to say, after all.

When Sasuke stepped around the man to reach up for his luggage, the passenger stepped closer so that Sasuke could feel his breath against his ear. Sasuke stiffened, reaching upwards, hoping that guy was so close on accident. And then he heard, "Yeah it is," as a hand slapped his stomach, right above his belt, and slid up to his chest.

Sasuke handled gropings well. He learned that most people who did it just wanted a reaction from him whether it was positive or negative. But the man made a mistake. Sasuke just wasn’t in the mood for tolerating that kind of behavior today.

He elbowed the man roughly, and then before he could even register what he was doing, he turned around and landed a punch square in the jerk’s jaw. The man recoiled into another passenger who had a fucking baby, and then he sprung forward and grabbed Sasuke by the throat. They fought, cameras flashed, videos were recorded, and the next thing Sasuke knew, both he and the passenger were separated by Kiba and Gaara.

Blood blurred the vision in Sasuke’s right eye. He snapped out of his angry haze and wish he hadn’t as clarity and apprehension washed over him at once.

_This is the end. JAL will fire me now, just like they fired Tsunade._

Sasuke tried to steady his breathing as airport security rushed aboard and was urged in Sasuke's direction by an older Japanese woman. The look of disappointment on one of the three security guard's face was palpable. Sasuke knew him from somewhere. A random hookup after a company celebration? A quick favor before a flight? No. He'd been one of the guards to pull that angry prick away from Naruto last summer. Sasuke had been so calm that night because Naruto was calm.

Now Sasuke's face was bleeding, his neck was red from anger, and his clothes were disheveled. He'd lost his composure, looked more like the temperamental asshole of his youth than the cool and collected steward he'd tried to become over the years.

 _How did I let this_ happen? _Where did it all go wrong?_

He knew the answer, of course. The best of his questions could always be answered by his ever-present emotional vulnerability, his weakness.

As Sasuke and the green-eyed man were escorted off the plane by security, the passenger screamed about how unfair he was being treated and about how Sasuke should be fired. Sasuke wasn’t surprised when a few passengers nodded in agreement. He didn’t expect the few remaining people he’d served for nine and a half hours to regard him with any sort of empathy, but damn--wouldn't it be nice if he could?

Just as they were exiting the sky bridge, Sasuke took notice of a flash of blonde hair and terrified blue eyes. Naruto. Of course he would be waiting for Sasuke out here. Of course.

The security guard tugged on Sasuke’s arm when his steps faltered and he angled his body, for just a moment, in Naruto’s direction off to the side, standing between a TSA agent and an advertisement for Vancouver’s airport.

“What happened?” Naruto mouth as Sasuke was dragged off.

 _I loved you_ , Sasuke thought as he was shoved forward. _I loved you and you ghosted me. And then you tried to make things the way they were before. They're different now. We're different now._

 

 ***

  

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

“Well, I can’t say I’m proud of you.”

Kakashi watched Sasuke with bored black eyes and an indifferent, unreadable expression from across his desk. His service dog, Pakkun, a pug Kakashi had given a second chance, was lying beside Sasuke’s legs as Sasuke tried to come up with a response.

“Even from here, I can see your mind spinning,” Kakashi grumbled. 

Sasuke shrugged and slouched in his chair. “Hn.”

“What’s been going on with you lately? You’re more distant and grumpier than usual.” Kakashi leaned forward on his desk, placing his elbows on the glass. “Is everything okay?”

Sasuke gave absolutely nothing away. He kept his face devoid of all emotion, and he tried his best to relax his posture. If he kept his cool, this would all be over with soon, and he could go to his hotel room and shower and punch a wall and wish himself out of existence. Or Naruto, he decided. None of this would have happened if Naruto didn’t exist.

“Would you look at me?” Kakashi asked, an edge to his usually soft voice.

Sasuke wouldn’t.

Kakashi sighed, loud and irritated. “Christ, Sasuke, this is an arrestable offense. You could go to jail for this! Assaulting a passenger! What were you _thinking_?”

Sasuke’s face crumbled into an angry scowl, but he refused to meet Kakashi’s dark eyes full of judgement. Glaring at the other man’s ugly hands would suffice.

"You're so good at what you do. You had so much potential to move up here, and you just threw it all away. You know you're going to be terminated, and I'm not trying to make this harder on you than it has to be. I want to know what's going on in your head. Why won't you defend yourself?"

Sasuke bit his lip, not hard enough to break the skin, but enough to ground him. Sasuke knew he'd get reprimanded, maybe even suspended, but he hoped beyond reason that he wouldn't be fired. This story of some random flight attendant attacking a passenger who looked like he had a lot of money could make national news headlines. What company with a decent hiring manager would want Sasuke after this? 

“He touched me!” Sasuke shouted, eyes meeting Kakashi's, at the same time that Pakkun nudged Sasuke's ankle.

Kakashi didn't look as upset as Sasuke thought he would. Not at first. For a split second, Kakashi's eyes were soft and his concern was clear as day. Then his eyes hardened and he frowned.

“Oh, yeah?” Kakashi’s voice was raising, too. “Where’d he touch you? Your ass? Your cock?”

“No, but--”

“So he bumped into your shoulder, is that it? That’s what made you fight a seventeen year old boy?”

A frustrated tear fell down Sasuke’s cheek. He couldn’t help it, and he didn’t wipe it away because touching the tear would mean acknowledging the fact that he was breaking down in front of Kakashi, his recruiter for Delta Airlines, the very man who also worked for Japan Airlines and helped Sasuke switch between working for the two companies. Kakashi was someone Sasuke admired and someone he wanted to impress. What was impressive about being a little bitch? Nothing.

“This is going to be everywhere tomorrow morning! On the news, in the newspaper, on Twitter, Instagram, and whatever other social media platform you kids use nowadays! And for _what_? Did he catch you in a bad mood, _is that it_? You _cannot_ work as a flight attendant if you’re this irritable. Why didn’t you get a degree in something that would _guarantee_ you a career that’s not centered around being a _decent fucking person_?”

That did it. An ungodly sound escaped Sasuke lips that made him wince. He closed his lips tight after that, but a shut mouth didn’t stop the hiccups and the inexcusable whimpers that came from him as he sobbed like an emotionally constipated dad on his daughter’s wedding day.

He couldn’t believe he was crying. This was a nightmare. He was just so tired. He--

_Enough with the excuses._

Sasuke stood up mid-sob, steadying himself on the wooden arms of his chair, and made his way to the glass front door through which he could make out the blurred shapes of everyday strangers scurrying to and fro.

He took a shaky breath when he pulled the door open.

“Sasuke, I want your badge by tomorrow evening,” Kakashi called after him.

Another shaky breath, and Sasuke was immersed in the cacophony of hustle: wheels rolling on porcelain floors, children laughing, teens gossiping, announcements being made overhead. Sasuke would have been happy to stop breathing then.

 

*** 

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

The lithe man tore his clothes from his skin after he swiped into his hotel room. The heavy, modern door hadn’t shut all the way before Sasuke had stripped off his blouse and was working on the belt to his slacks. He needed to shower and get clean, to do something right. When he entered the bathroom, tearing off his socks, he promised he would begin working on his novel after this, and then he would do some weights in the gym before he showered again. He didn’t make plans to rest or eat or drink. Sasuke just wanted to work, to be productive so that he wouldn’t feel the weight of his life falling apart around him.

When the hot water of the shower hit his chest, he wilted. Sasuke was utterly exhausted. If the nine and a half hour flight and fighting didn’t do him in, it was being fired and Sasuke’s walk of shame from the airport to the hotel down the road. He couldn’t afford to waste money on a rental car now. And speaking of wasted money...Sasuke grit his teeth when he remembered how much he spent on Naruto’s shoes. Gucci, of all the brands Sasuke could have chosen from. Gucci? _Really?_

At the time of the purchase, all Sasuke could think about was Naruto complaining one night about how the majority of his colleagues had a better a fashion sense than he did and were paid so much more. Naruto was no senior pilot, but fresh out of flight school, and when it comes to commercial piloting, seniority is everything.

Around the time of Naruto’s twenty-fourth birthday, Sasuke received a pay raise, and while he wasn’t making nearly as much money as Naruto was, Sasuke rationalized that Naruto had greater expenses than he did. So what did Sasuke do? He bought Naruto a pair of seventeen hundred dollar shoes when he had roughly two thousand dollars in savings. The purchase had felt justified at first. Nothing compared to the joy on Naruto’s face when he opened his present.

Sasuke washed himself emphatically. When he finished, he exited the bathroom and got into bed where he lay sodden. The sole light in his hotel room came from the bathroom because he was too tired to turn it off. The sheets were rough against his bare skin, and from the room below, he could hear someone yelling. Sasuke didn’t know how long he lay like that, immobile in the darkest part of the room. He wanted to get up and do something. In fact, he felt quite anxious to move. However, as much as his brain screamed at him to be productive, staying in bed just seemed so much better to the aches in his chest and bones.

Just when the yelling beneath him stopped, and when sleep was beginning to find him, someone knocked on his door. The only people who had his room number were Naruto and the JAL airlines agent who purchased this suite for him. For a second, Sasuke believed the latter was at his door, or someone the agent had sent. Since he was technically unemployed now, he wondered if they would take the room from him, or force him to pay out of pocket for the night. Naruto spoke up, though, after a second rap.

“Sasuke, _please_ …” he said, voice distorted by the distance and the door that separated them. “You're not answering your damn phone. If you’re in there, just say something. I’ll notify security if you don't. I-I just wanna make sure you’re good.”

Sasuke sighed long and hard before he crawled out of bed. No matter how tired and stressed he was, he wouldn’t let Naruto suffer, too, if he could help it. He had half a mind to wrap a towel around himself before opening the door, but he decided on grabbing some clothes from his suitcase which lay sad and out of place in the center of the room. He found an old black shirt with some words on it and a pair of black joggers. Sasuke took his time getting dressed, and Naruto's knocking grew louder and more erratic.

Just when the knocking stopped, he went to the door and opened it.

“What,” Sasuke deadpanned, squinting at Naruto’s illuminated form.

Naruto shoved inside the room and pulled Sasuke close to him, hugging him into his chest with a force that was bruising. “You bastard,” Naruto choked out, burying his face in the crook of Sasuke neck. The door to the suite shut with a gentle click and the darkness sprinkled with light from the bathroom resumed its occupation of the room.

  
Sasuke didn’t know how to respond to Naruto’s distress. He kept his arms down at his sides, hoping Naruto would get the hint and let go of him, but Naruto only held him tighter.

“You scared me so bad, Sas,” Naruto moaned into his neck.

Sasuke made a face, angling his head away from Naruto’s. A splash of wetness hit the column of his throat, and he would have had to been the biggest moron of the century not to know that Naruto was crying.

“What are you on about?” Sasuke grumbled while reaching between them to push Naruto away. Naruto took the hint and stepped back. His face and neck were red, and his eyes were narrowed from crying. Naruto still wore his uniform, except his cap. Naruto hardly ever wore his cap.

“You’ve been acting so weird today, and Kiba said you fought a passenger, and the news...”

“You’ve been talking to Kiba?” Sasuke’s brow furrowed. He didn’t know the two men knew one another.

Naruto nodded and then wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands. He had a queer grin on his face, but Sasuke supposed Naruto was the type to smile when he was nervous or upset. “We went to high school together. When I found out he’d be working the flight from Narita to Pearson, I asked him to keep an eye on you. You’ve been so distant lately.” The tears started up again.

Sasuke turned and stalked off to sit on the corner of his bed. He didn’t want to look at Naruto while he was like this. “You’re such a crybaby. Why are you like this?” There was no edge to his voice, and his volume was so low that Sasuke wasn’t truly sure Naruto heard him.

They were both still, and the room was quiet save for the wind whistling through the opened window several feet from the bed. Sasuke could just barely makeup a bug struggling in the stuff carpet alongside his feet. When the insect took refuge on the top of his foot, he kicked his leg out, and watched it fly off somewhere. Guilt took hold of Sasuke then.

“I punched a seventeen year old,” he said.

Naruto came to stand in front of him. He reached out as if to touch Sasuke’s chin, and then thought better of it.

“We all do dumb things sometimes,” Naruto mumbled. His left leg was twitching. He folded his arms across his chest, dropped them to his sides, and then began stretching. Sasuke wished he'd be still.

“Do you think I’ll go to jail?” Sasuke asked. He was surprised by how much he wanted to hear Naruto’s answer. The smaller, less prideful part of himself admitted that after everything that'd happened today, he really need to hear some reassurances.

“Nah...I don’t think so. You didn't kill him, just busted him up a bit. Speaking of busted up..." 

Sasuke stared at Naruto's torso, the crisp white button-up beneath his jacket, while Naruto leaned over him and placed a finger right below his swollen eye. The finger trailed down Sasuke's cheek and rubbed over Sasuke's throat where he was sure a few nasty bruises had bloomed. Naruto's voice was strained when he said, "Guess it was a fair fight."

Sasuke leaned away. "Not really."

Naruto grumbled something to himself, and then, "Would ya move over?”

Sasuke finally glared in the direction of the blonde’s face. If Naruto didn’t sound so sad, Sasuke would have kicked him out.

The bed was queen-sized; there was plenty of room for Naruto to sit anywhere but directly beside Sasuke. Yet, when Naruto sat down, he was so close that their thighs pressed together. The anticipation of the touch made Sasuke go still, but once he felt Naruto's body heat, his shoulders slumped and he leaned into Naruto's side. He was still mad at Naruto, but maybe being close to him was better than confronting him and scaring him away.

Sasuke found that he didn’t mind how close they were. He even relaxed a little.

“Aren’t you tired?” Sasuke asked in Japanese when Naruto's breathing returned to normal and he rested his head on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke doubted the position was comfortable for the other.

“Yeah,” Naruto admitted. “Oi, why the hell are we sitting in the dark?”

Sasuke shrugged the shoulder Naruto was on hoping that'd make him move. It didn't. “Because my eyes hurt.” He then lay back on the thick duvet which was still tucked into the corners of the mattress and soaking wet. Sasuke closed his eyes.

There was so much he wanted to say, but he had no idea how he would say it or if these things were worth saying at all.

A beat passed, and then Naruto lay on his back, too. He flinched when he came in contact with the wetness, but he didn’t sit up or roll away to a dryer spot.

“ _Please_ tell me it’s not puke,” Naruto whispered.

A hot burst of laughter erupted from Sasuke. The laugh was harsh and died in his throat about as fast as it was born. He wanted to be alone and asleep, not making small talk with someone he wasn't likely to see again after tonight. His chest hurt even more.

Naruto groaned. "Fuck me, it is puke."

“No, you moron, I was just really wet.”

“Oh?” Naruto shifted so that he could look in Sasuke’s direction. He propped himself up on one elbow, sky blue eyes bright with mischief. Warmth radiated from his chest and into Sasuke’s side like a personal heater.

Sasuke chuckled in spite himself, rolling lazily onto his side as well. He found Naruto’s cheek with an open palm. “I didn’t dry off after I showered.”

Sasuke could feel Naruto wrinkling his nose. “That sounds like something you would do.”

“Yeah,” Sasuke agreed, “It does.”

Naruto hesitated, and then he turned his head in Sasuke’s palm so that he could kiss one of the lines on it. Sasuke shivered.

“I missed you,” Naruto breathed, breath too hot on Sasuke’s skin.

Sasuke dropped his palm to Naruto’s neck. “You just saw me, like, two hours ago.”

“It’s six am. I saw you _three_ hours ago.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but he chuckled again. As miserable as he was, it felt good to laugh. “Okay.”

More shifting to his right, and then a long line of warmth covered him from his collarbones to his ankles. Naruto had scooted over and pulled Sasuke impossibly closer to him. The single button that held Naruto’s tux closed pressed into Sasuke's stomach. Sasuke started to reach down to unbutton it when Naruto hands slid under Sasuke's shirt and gripped his waist tight. 

Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto’s neck as best he could as Naruto turned and lifted him so that Sasuke was straddling his hips.

Sasuke tried to think, tried to make sense of his sudden lust in the midst of his own angst. His hands were moving on their own accord, trying to undress Naruto, but his pace was all off. Naruto was being gentle, taking his time as he slid his hands up Sasuke's back. By the time Naruto's hands smoothed over Sasuke's shoulder blades, Sasuke had unbuttoned Naruto's jacket and shirt. 

Naruto leaned up to steal a kiss that Sasuke allowed, but when he tried to deepen it, Sasuke put a hand on his chest and pushed until Naruto lay down with a huff. “Why are you so against me touching you?”

"Because you're too touchy."

Naruto flinched into the bed at the same time a cold gust of wind hit Sasuke. Sasuke tilted forward and braced himself on with his hands on either side of Naruto's head. He caught a whiff of cinnamon when Naruto whispered, "Gomen..." and the words just exploded from his mouth. 

“It’s not that I don’t want you to touch me. I love your touches--shh, no listen. I like being with you, like this, I just...I don't know. I feel like I want something different from you. With you. No, don't look at me like that. I already told you I'm not trying to fuck you." Sasuke fixed his eyes on Naruto's short, messy hair surrounding his head like a fluffy sun, and Naruto let out a nervous chuckle. Naruto's hands rubbed from the side of Sasuke's knees to his hips and back down. He was comforting Sasuke, urging him to speak, but Sasuke knew he wasn't going to like what Sasuke said. "Forget it."

He rolled off the man beneath him and sat on the edge of the bed again. The darkness seemed to be too much now. Sasuke wanted to turn on a light, to be able to see clearly as if seeing better in real life would make it easier for him to see how he'd wordlessly convince Naruto to address Sasuke's fears. Sasuke was terrible at speaking up, preferring to fight or disappear. But he didn't want to argue with Naruto, and he didn't want to leave him either. Why couldn't Naruto just read his mind or something?

"Dammit," Naruto spat, his first true sign of frustration all night. He sat up fast and grabbed Sasuke's shoulder. "If you have a problem with me, spit it out already. I love being around you, I do, but I can't keep up with your mood sw--"

"I'm tired of being your fuck buddy!"

Sasuke's heart lurched into his throat. There it was, what Sasuke'd been trying to say for months now. Naruto's eyes widened incredulously.

"My...my what?"

"We never hang out outside of this." Sasuke gestured wildly around the room. "We fly, we flirt, and then we fuck and we forget about each other. I see you maybe three or four times a month, and this is all we ever do. I want _more_ , Naruto. I've always wanted more since the _first time_. And you--you're such a fucking idiot!" Sasuke inhaled sharply, fisting the duvet with both hands, and then he back-tracked. "I mean, I...I don't want you. I do, but not if you don't want...Goddammit, would you just say something already?"

Naruto's mouth opened and closed like a singing fish on a plank of wood. "Are you tryna say you wanna date me...?"

Sasuke bit his lip and met Naruto's surprised face head-on. "That's exactly what I've been trying to say. For months!"

"But, but...you never actually said that! You've never said anything like that! Do I look like Edward Cullen to you?"

Sasuke scowled at him and pushed at his shoulder. "No, dick, but you sound like Andy from Parks and Rec."

Naruto chuckled, but the sound was pained. "You're an asshole..."

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's wrist then with both of his hands. He just held the joint without any idea of what he was going to do. He peered up into Naruto's eyes, imploring Naruto with his eyes to say something remotely reassuring. Did Naruto want to date Sasuke, too? Would he let him down gently? 

"There you go again," Naruto rasped. He reached up with his free hand to tuck a chunk of damp hair behind Sasuke's ear. Even after he'd tucked the hair away, he cupped Sasuke's cheek. "Some days, you look at me, and you might as well be a brick wall." _Ouch_. "But then you look at me like this, with so much emotion, and I dunno what to say. Some days you look like you wanna tell me the biggest secret in the world or like you're gonna break my heart. But you never _say_ anything, and it drives me insane."

Sasuke swallowed hard. He bent one of Naruto's fingers forwards and backwards. "What do I look like right now?" Did he really want the answer?

"You look like you're scratching off a lottery ticket you just spent your last dollar on. I want you to tell me what's on your mind, ba--Sasuke. Would you...? Please?"

Was it just him or was his heart beating really,  _really_ loudly? Sasuke knew he wasn't the most vocal person, but surely he relayed to Naruto all the important bits, right? Based on the pained look on Naruto's face now, that must not have been true.

Sasuke’s lips thinned and his face felt hot, but he refused to look away now. If Naruto wanted to know what was on his mind, and if he wanted Naruto to know, well...He guessed he'd better open his mouth then. "I saw you with someone else last fall. After you'd ignored my text. In New York. At a Hilton."

Naruto looked like he'd finished scratching off the lottery ticket he'd just spent his last dollar on, and lost. "Shit," he breathed.

"Hn." Sasuke dropped Naruto's wrist in his lap and reached up to peel Naruto's hand away from his face. "We were taking a break, I guess. I get it. We hadn't spoken in a couple of weeks, and I stopped flying transoceanic, so you never really saw me anyways. And it's not like there are rumors of you being a playboy or whatever. I'd even asked people if you were dating, you know. After I saw you. And no one knew. Everyone thought that...that we were dating, and that maybe we were recently broken up since I was asking after you." Sasuke's throat was closing. He licked his lips and looked towards the bathroom where he knew a plastic cup would be. Damn, he needed water. But that would have to wait. Sasuke reached up and grabbed both of Naruto's cheeks. He pressed his forehead to Naruto's and stared deep into his eyes, the way they did much earlier that day on the plane. 

"Why did you ghost me?" Sasuke asked, voice surprisingly soft. 

Naruto's lower lip quivered. "I didn't mean to," he said. "We saw each other a lot then, and I was becoming obsessed with you. I didn't wanna let you go after you'd spent the night, and I didn't want to leave after I'd been with you. I'd memorized your typical room service order, your favorite wines, your favorite weed strains. I used to hang onto your every word." He placed a chaste kiss on Sasuke lips as his cheek reddened. "I still do. My friends had enough of me. My parents--I told my mom about you, and then my dad--I was driving everyone crazy because I was too afraid to ask you out. Sasuke, you're--you're everything. You're perfect by no means, but neither am I. And I wanted you. So bad. But everyone said you were out of my league. You're an Uchiha, you were first in your class in high school and your college made you give a speech for graduation even though you'd dropped out during your third year." Sasuke grimaced. "I'd feel so nervous walking around the airport with you, like everyone was judging me, the new guy, for hanging around the favorite flight attendant." 

Naruto was out of breath by the time he finished. He collapsed onto his back, and his voice was shaky as he continued on. "And then you bought these damn shoes..." Naruto huffed as he kicked them off. They hit the carpet, one at a time, with a gentle _plump, plump._ "I fell in love with you. But I was afraid that I was like everyone else, infatuated. But how could I tell you that? How could I tell you that I'd fallen in love with you when all you seemed to want was a good fuck and someone to cuddle after a hard shift? How dumb would I have sounded? And after that, how did I know you wouldn't hate my guts if I reneged on all that and said I didn't actually know if I loved you or not?"

"So you fucked someone else?" 

Naruto squeezed his thigh. "So I tried to make myself fall for someone else as quickly as I fell for you. You're the first person I've ever loved that way. I wanted to see if maybe I was just really, _really_ lonely."

Sasuke sighed. "So you fucked someone else..."

Naruto squeezed his thigh again, then drew his hand away. "Yeah, we fooled around. And I felt like absolute shit afterwards. I haven't seen him since."

Sasuke crossed his legs and uncrossed them, processing all of this. What Naruto did was shitty. But could Sasuke sit here and say he wouldn't do the same thing? He imagined being into someone more popular than him, and his mind immediately went to a dark skinned foreign exchange student in his college astronomy class. The man was smart, tall, and handsome. His smile was charming, and his voice gave Sasuke butterflies. There were many, many things Sasuke would do for that voice if he was given the chance. But he never was, and his crush was forgotten. But what if he had really gotten the chance to sleep with that man? Alfred was his name, if Sasuke remembered correctly. Everyone loved Alfred. What would happen if Sasuke had gotten the chance to sleep with Alfred and really get to know him? What if Sasuke caught feelings too fast for him and didn't know if he was in love or just in love with the idea of the enchanting Alfred? Sasuke closed his eyes and frowned as another cool gust of wind hit his back. Sasuke would...do nothing. He'd either pick a fight with Alfred to make him confess first, or he'd flee. Damn.

"Okay then," Sasuke said. He opened his eyes and saw Naruto watching him with a carefully blank expression. "We weren't exclusive and you were doing your own thing, trying to figure out things for yourself. I understand that now, but...what about Lee?"

Naruto's brows shot up. "What about him?"

Sasuke reached over and flicked Naruto's hand that lay on the sheet between them. "Don't play dumb. Why'd you have him come back to the pit on our flight?"

"Because his dad used to work for mine," Naruto said, quick and earnest. "My dad kinda forced JAL's hand into changing Lee's schedule so that he'd fly with me to Pearson instead of some guy named Kimimaro. My dad is basically tryna become a career politician, and he wants Lee to convince his dad, who's now the minister of finance, to not only help fund his campaign, but to also endorse him. It's kinda a big deal that's supposed to be confidential."

"But Shikamaru was there."

Naruto shrugged. "It's a small world, Sas. His dad and my dad are friends, too. I wouldn't be surprised if Minato made a deal with Fugaku once upon a time."

"You know my father's name?"

Naruto shifted uncomfortably beneath Sasuke's gaze. Sasuke remembered Naruto once saying his stare could be too intense sometimes and looked away. "Well, yeah, you told me about him once..."

"Forever ago when we were drunk," Sasuke said to the carpet.

"But I'm always listening to you. You usually don't speak this much so when you do, I told you, I hang onto your every word."

Sasuke sighed, letting himself truly relax for what felt like the first time in many, many weeks. 

Naruto’s laughter surprised him. “Wow. I made you jealous. Twice."

Sasuke lay down and Naruto curled up against him. "That's not funny," Sasuke murmured.

Naruto wrapped his arms around the other man and kissed his neck. "You're right, it's not."

Sasuke propped himself up on his elbow and reached down to idly trace the dark, spiral tattoo on Naruto's stomach. The touch was by no means meant to be sexual; Sasuke just wanted to feel him. "You fell in love with me," he whispered, like he couldn't believe himself. 

A wet kiss series of kisses were placed on his collarbone. "Yeah," Naruto whispered back when he'd finished. "I loved you a lot."

Sasuke's heart was racing. He'd loved Naruto, too, at that time. His heart would jump whenever he heard Naruto's name or his voice. He couldn't stop smiling whenever Naruto was around despite not being an expressive person. Sasuke looked forward to flights he'd work with Naruto. Even if the two only shared a couple of words on the flight, he knew he'd have Naruto in his arms when they landed. They'd get Starbucks if they wanted to fight jet lag and stay awake, or they'd smoke a bowl if they wanted to go to sleep right away. They'd watch movies, order exotic foods, try different drinks. They'd talk about their families and their lives growing up, about their fears, their obsessions, their interests, their passions. They'd fuck, but they also would make love. And then they took their break...

"How do you feel about me now?" Sasuke asked. 

Naruto hummed in thought. "You've been asking a lot of questions lately." He hand rubbed over the goose bumps on Sasuke's exposed arm. "You say you wanna date me, but that's the first I've heard of this all year. Why do you want me, of all people? Were you really into me last year or was I just a good time for you?" Sasuke snorted. "I'm serious. How did you feel about me then?"

"It's in the past," Sasuke started to say, but Naruto cut him off.

"So was me taking Eric to the Hilton."

Sasuke winced. "Okay, fine." He licked his lips which were considerably dry, and thought again about the plastic cup in the bathroom. He hopped up and got off the bed. "One moment." 

Naruto actually whined.

Sasuke glared at nothing in particular as he walked to the bathroom. "What are you, an animal?"

"I can get into pet play if you want me to," Naruto shouted after him.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. He found the plastic cup and tore the thin cover from it. Once he'd poured himself some water and chugged it, he refilled the cup for Naruto. On his way back to the bed, he flicked on the light.

Naruto's eyes shut with a curse. Sasuke chuckled, kneeling on the bed and offering the water. When Naruto saw the cup, his lips spread into a warm grin. 

As Naruto gulped down the water, Sasuke explained to him how he used to feel. He told Naruto his favorite memory was them hauling ass into the forest in front of a hotel when they'd got busted smoking weed out back by a security guard. They were sleepy and high, but couldn't stop laughing. They must have stayed in the woods for a good forty minutes, getting bitten by every bug under the sun, but too afraid to return to the hotel in fear of being caught and asked to leave. He told Naruto his least favorite memory was when Naruto cried, home sick, because they were both stuck in a town close to Kyoto for a week. That would happen from time to time. As a pilot or a flight attendant, not every shift was scheduled half a day after the first one. Sometimes you worked double shift, or sometimes you were stuck in a foreign town (or country) until your airline figured out where you were going next. Sasuke learned that if Naruto had to chose between one scheduling disappointment or the other, he'd rather work a double and catch a flight home afterwards. They were lucky that neither of them had to face those misfortunes often. 

"Everything was perfect," Sasuke finished. "I mean, not really. Sometimes one of us was a little cranky or got whiskey dick. But as long as I was with you, everything felt right. I didn't know it at the time, but I loved being with you. I really did. And after you ghosted me, I realized I loved you even though I probably shouldn't have."

To his surprise, Naruto looked relieved. Sasuke didn't know how Naruto could think anyone would just want him for sex. He was a literal sun; he was kind, extroverted, and very, very funny. Even in bed, he was fun and giving. He loved to please, and Sasuke learned a whole lot about give and take with him. Never had Sasuke had a lover so attentive before, and never had he given so much of himself to someone else.

"You've officially made my night," Naruto said, for once reading Sasuke's mind. Naruto's exhaustion was starting to show, but he wouldn't stop smiling at Sasuke like Sasuke was the greatest treasure in the world. "I'm sorry I ghosted you. If I needed space, I should have just said that. Everything got all awkward on us when we started working together again because of me." 

Sasuke shook his head. He pressed his knee between Naruto's and ran his hand through Naruto's hair. "Not entirely. I fucked up, too. I could've double texted. I could've let you know that I was upset and wanted to talk about it. It takes two to make a relationship, and it takes two to end one well." 

Naruto's toes ran up the back of Sasuke's calf. "You really want to date me now?" His brows kept peaking and falling as if he couldn't anticipate whether Sasuke's answer would be positive or negative.

Sasuke stared at him for longer than necessary, let Naruto's anxiety build up, and then growled, "Yes, you absolute fool." 

Naruto exhaled, laughing while he did. "I knew it!"

"Did you?" Sasuke was doubtful.

Naruto stuck his tongue out at him. Sasuke couldn't fight the urge to lick it.

Naruto laughed again. "You're so fucking weird." 

They shared several kisses, got lost in each other's scent, embrace, and love. When they pulled apart, Sasuke was panting, but forced his lips to form words. "How do you...feel 'bout me...right now?" he panted.

"Like I love you now more than ever." Naruto rubbed their noses together and Sasuke snorted. That man was such a cheese ball. 

***

 

***

"I want you," Naruto breathed, voice husky. They were in Naruto's hotel room since they didn't want to trouble house keeping at the Sheraton for new sheets. Naruto's room was in a larger hotel down the street. They'd walked to the building holding hands. Their free hands were tucked away in their coat pockets for the cold March night. They'd talked the entire time, blabbing about some drama or another. Sasuke couldn't believe how happy he felt. Naruto was so animated when he told a story, eyes wide, free hand continuously popping out of his pocket so he could talk with it. He only let go of Sasuke's hand maybe once or twice. 

Sasuke laughed at Naruto now. He was sweaty and pinned beneath the blond man, legs locked behind Naruto's thighs, hands cupping Naruto's ass. They were both naked of course, had been since they'd entered the room; Naruto wasted no time in getting them both undressed, and Sasuke felt like a fool for turning the heat up despite knowing damn well he'd be a sweaty mess in a few moments.

"I really love you," Naruto gasped while Sasuke sucked a hickey right above his collarbone. 

Although Sasuke couldn't say the words back, he appreciated Naruto's enthusiasm. Naruto let himself fall head-first into love. While Sasuke could acknowledge his feelings to himself, he didn't feel comfortable repeating himself. And that was okay. Naruto knew how he felt now, and that was all that mattered.

Sasuke gave one of Naruto's cheeks a rough squeeze before his fingers trailed downwards the draw irregular shapes on the backs of his thighs. The skin was soft despite the many blond hairs.

Naruto peppered kisses along Sasuke's throat, and then huffed. "Make sure we take photos of these," he said, meaning the bruises. They'd need evidence that Sasuke got just as good as he gave. Sasuke hummed his agreement.

"I still can't believe you got into a fight." Naruto rolled so that Sasuke was on top of him. He seemed to like that position a lot. So did Sasuke.

Sasuke snorted. "I can. I used to fight all the time in high school. Even in college. S'part of the reason why I dropped out."

Naruto's eyes were lidded with lust, and his face had gone kind of slack now that Sasuke was sitting a couple of centimeters off his dick. Even so, he managed to keep his playful aura with a quick swat at Sasuke's ass. "Bad boy," he muttered. "What were you fighting for?"

Sasuke lifted himself so that he could rub himself against Naruto. Naruto's hands flew up to grip his thighs, and Sasuke held himself up by keeping his palms on Naruto's chest. 

Through panting and moaning, Sasuke tried to explain. "I--I don't even remember. I was just mad at the world then. My brother went batshit when I was really young. Like, we were the perfect family, and then he cussed my parents out and got ghost. He was all of twelve or thirteen. He was found, but months later, and when he came back home, he was just...different. He still loved me, I think. But he was distant and mean as hell. I couldn't handle it. The whole time he was gone, I kept hoping for things to be the way they were. I thought that once he returned, he'd pick me up, hug me, and everything would go back to normal. When they didn't, I fell apart. I was a mess." Sasuke stopped grinding to catch his breath. 

"You took your anger out on other people?" 

Sasuke paused, face pink, but the wan look on his face was clouded by a careful look of indifference. "Maybe."

Naruto reached up, clasped the back of Sasuke's neck, and drew him forward for a gentle kiss. "It's in the past now. As long as you learned from your mistakes, that's all that matters now."

A tremulous ghost of a smile graced Sasuke's expression then. "Thanks." He was surprised his breath had the tiniest hint of cinnamon to it. 

"You're getting soft," Naruto whined with an upwards thrust.

Sasuke hissed. "Not tonight I'm not."

He covered Naruto's mouth was his, finally done talking. Their tongues intertwined and their mouths locked in the easiest way. Sasuke was always surprised when his teeth didn't clash with Naruto's and when he wasn't accidentally bitten. He'd experienced that while making out with other people, but never with Naruto. No matter how clumsy Naruto was in his every day life, Sasuke truly believed that Naruto tried his best to be careful with him. 

When Sasuke was utterly breathless, he threw himself sideways and rolled onto his back. Naruto laughed loudly, mouth wide, chest red and vibrating from the sound. "You're a goof ball," he said. 

Sasuke snorted, resisted the urge to roll his eyes while Naruto eased himself between his thighs, a weight that was warm and comforting. "Says the cheese ball." 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Naruto balanced his weight on one elbow near Sasuke's neck while he stroked Sasuke's wet lower lip with two fingers. "Open." He chuckled at how fast his partner obliged.

"You let me think you had no interest in my whatsoever. How goofy is that." The fact that the question wasn't even phrased like a question made Sasuke bit Naruto's fingers until he withdrew them. "Ass."

"Yes, that's where those go," Sasuke said with a matter-of-fact tone. His lips kept quirking up into a smirk. He wasn't exactly trying to repress his joy, but he also wasn't trying to look so obvious. 

Naruto entered him with two fingers first. They'd last fucked about a week ago, and Sasuke was mostly stretched from then. Naruto made sure to take his time, though. He kept his forehead pressed into Sasuke's chest while he worked him open. Sasuke noticed he was breathing harder than normal and swatted his ear.

"If you blow your load during foreplay, I swear on everything you love..."

"I'm not gonna blow my load," Naruto cried. But he added a third finger and hurried up his strokes.

Sasuke laughed, loud and free in the style of Naruto. The look on the blond man's face was priceless. 

"Please don't do that to me," he moaned, "Not now."

Sasuke did it again, and Naruto couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed the backs of Sasuke's knees to hoist his legs over his shoulders, and then he pressed forward. 

"I punched a kid," Sasuke gasped when Naruto entered him.

Naruto pursed his lips, breathing heavily through his nose. His chest raise and fell at a rapid speed, and he was incapable of speech until he was fully seated in his lover. "Did it...did it feel good?" Naruto panted.

"You're an idiot," Sasuke moaned, tone playful. "I reacted out of shock, not bloodlust."

Naruto eased out a few centimeters, and then pushed back in, smooth and slow. “Punching his stupid face must have been absolutely orgasmic. Did you wanna cum?”

Sasuke snorted to stop himself from laughing. “Would you cut it ou-- _ah, ah_.”

“Better be glad I wasn’t there,” Naruto growled as he pulled out much further and thrust in much harder. They both moaned. “If...If I was there...woulda been a threesome.”

Sasuke couldn’t speak anymore after that. He was too busy laughing and begging and moaning. Sasuke knew that after they came and slept, and then woke up in the morning, he would feel terrible. His anxiety would be unbearable if his depression didn’t get him first. He would be upset and might have to face the press. He would have to gather his courage and hand his badge over to Kakashi. He would be frustrated, anxious, and moody, but he wouldn’t be alone. Speaking of alone…

“In the moment, Sas,” Naruto grumbled hotly in his ear.

“Wha…?”

“Live in the moment,” he hissed with a particularly brutal thrust.

Sasuke groaned and clutched at his boyfriend. Yeah, he guessed Naruto was his boyfriend now. Or something like that. He moaned Naruto’s name loudly, just because he could, and then called him “fucking beautiful” because he could do that without guilt as well.

Naruto sputtered, losing his rhythm before he stopped moving all together. His lips had been locked on the edge of Sasuke’s jaw and were shining when he stared at Sasuke head-on. “That’s so not fair,” he yelled, eyes wide and incredulous. “You can’t call me beautiful if I can’t call you that, too!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “If you call me beautiful in bed, I’ll punch you.”

“Nu-uh.”

“Yes huh. Now stop. Talking.”

***

Nar's Gucci Reference above 

**Author's Note:**

> I...have no excuses, lol. I saw a Tumblr post ages ago headcanoning Flight Attendant! Sasuke with Pilot! Naruto, and the idea has been in my head ever since. If you know that post, please for the love of god, link it to me so I can credit it for inspiration. Also, thank you for reading this?? This story is a hot mess for sure, and there are tons of loose ends that need to be tied, but I think it works okay for porn with feelings. In all seriousness, thank you for reading this ^^ This plot may be simple, but the story actually means quite a bit to me now. 
> 
> *Reference for Naruto's Gucci is at the end of the work ^^


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